*For Now

Unforced Movement
Moving without trying to improve anything.

Today’s walk felt like a summary of thoughts.

At the beginning of the walk, my mind was occupied with whether to keep the website going or not. It was starting to feel heavy and cumbersome.

But it did produce the excitement to write about my walks and make comics about where I am in life.

The other things I created were mostly to hopefully engage others.

As I walked, I felt anxious.

Anxious about having to decide.

I quickly talked to myself in third person.

I said,
“You know your body is well and healthy. Keep going.”

And I did.

I asked Siri to play 70s music for a break from my thoughts.

The songs came on and I found myself walking fast, moving to the beat of music I have loved for a long time.

It didn’t take long to realize I was sort of dancing to the songs as I used to, just in a much older body.

I felt my hamstrings pull and slowed the movement down.

I laughed.

I now had another idea for an aging comic.

I kept walking and could feel the anxiety shifting into excitement.

The two feel oddly similar.

I was excited because while the 70s songs played in the background, the foreground of my thoughts became very clear.

Put the writings into a collection. A book. Not a website.

Keep sharing comics on social media, but collect those into a future book too.

Make future books for grandkids.

I remembered a question from Alan Watts a long time ago.

“If money were no object, how would you spend your time?”

I can finally answer it.

For now, walking, writing, creating, drawing.

After that thought, I became more aware of the walk itself.

My breathing was normal.

I saw a bird and a squirrel that appeared to be having a conversation.

A man walked by with his hood up, which seemed strange because it was already very warm.

Another walker waved and smiled.

I felt clear.

I went home.