I Brought Everything With Me
Unforced Movement
Moving without trying to improve anything.
I went out thinking the trail might be open.
It wasn’t.
I wondered if the runners higher up had another way in.
Then I stopped thinking about that.
I decided to walk around the complex instead.
I tried walking in the grass beside the sidewalk.
Rougher. Slightly uneven.
It didn’t last long.
I moved back to the concrete without deciding to.
I put music on.
Tried to bring back the movement from before.
Dancing a little.
My body didn’t follow.
It just settled into a stride that matched the beat.
That felt fine.
I passed landscapers working in a yard.
They were making piles of old leaves and vegetation.
Clean lines.
Machines running.
I felt relieved that I didn’t have to think about doing that this year.
And I respected the work they were doing.
A little further on, I smelled old cigar smoke.
It reminded me of my grandfather.
That made me happy.
For most of the walk, I was checking emails.
Responding to a few messages.
Things that needed to get done.
Normally, I try to leave that behind when I walk.
Today, I didn’t.
I carried it with me.
At some point, I noticed something.
This didn’t feel like I was escaping anything.
It wasn’t quiet in that way.
But it also wasn’t heavy.
I was just walking while doing those things.
That felt different.
Not better.
Just different.
And that seemed okay.
