I Didn't Go That Way

Unforced Movement
Moving without trying to improve anything.

I went out today planning to take the second trailhead.

Walk it back toward the closed one.

See if there was a way through.

Before I even got there, something caught my attention.

A balcony with t-shirts hanging over the railing.

Not for sale.

Drying.

It reminded me of clotheslines.

Clothes dried outside.

I remember liking the smell.

I couldn’t remember what it actually smelled like.

It stayed with me as I passed the closed trailhead.

Then it faded.

The anxiety showed up again.

The idea of going the “wrong way.”

I kept going anyway.

At one point, I tried something I had seen.

“Tai Chi walking.”

It didn’t really make sense.

I thought Tai Chi was standing.

I moved my arms around a little.

Something I had probably only seen in pictures.

It didn’t last.

I let it go.

When I got to the second trailhead, a jogger was finishing his run.

He said, “trail end is blocked if you’re heading that way.”

I stood there for a moment.

Said, “okay.”

I thought about walking it anyway.

Going up and then turning around.

It didn’t feel interesting.

So I didn’t.

I turned and headed east instead.

I had gone that way a little before.

Not far.

This time I kept going.

It led into a housing complex.

Large houses.

Different from where I usually walk.

Eventually it circled back to the street near the starting crosswalk.

From there, I walked the familiar way home.

I liked it.

When I got back, I opened the windows.

Let the air move through the place.

Tried to bring some of that outside feeling in.