I Went a Different Way
Unforced Movement
Moving without trying to improve anything.
Before I left, I had a few ideas.
Check if the trail was open.
See how muddy it was if it was.
Listen to music, but this time from my own library.
Shuffled.
I went out.
The trail was still closed.
Familiar songs played.
I liked that.
Then they faded into the background.
Other thoughts showed up.
Small ones.
Should I do this. Should I go that way.
Nothing loud. Just there.
Almost immediately, I noticed the ground.
Weeds and grass still wet from the rain.
The early sun hit them and everything looked a little sparkly.
I kept walking.
Then I turned.
Same sidewalks. Just the opposite direction of what I usually do.
It felt slightly off, but not wrong.
I didn’t feel like dancing this time.
But I saw a row of trees spaced out like cones.
I moved through them.
Jogging in and out for a moment.
Like a small training course.
Then I stopped.
Kept walking.
At one point, I thought I should continue the loop exactly.
Make it match.
I hesitated.
Then I turned again.
Into a housing complex I’ve never walked through.
The addresses caught me.
Instead of 1833 A and B, it was 1833 and 1883 1/2.
I stayed on that for a second.
Who decided that?
How does that get written on an envelope?
Then it passed.
I found a few more places to move through.
Then I was back on a path I knew.
Toward the end, something stood out.
There wasn’t any pressure in my breathing.
No tightness.
No sense of needing to catch up to anything.
I noticed it because it wasn’t there.
I thought about how I might feel better now than I did years ago.
Stronger in a quieter way.
There were a few thoughts about not doing this earlier.
They didn’t stay long.
What stayed was something else.
A sense of moving without trying to get somewhere faster.
That felt like enough.