It Felt Different With Music

Unforced Movement
Moving without trying to improve anything.

I had an idea before I went out today.

Same path. Same walk.

But this time, with music.

The kind I used to listen to as a teenager. Back when it was always attached to me somehow. Walkman. iPod. Headphones with a cord I had to manage.

Now it’s wireless. Generated for me.

I put the headphones on over freshly washed hair.

That felt familiar.

Before I left, I checked the temperature on my phone. The wind. Whether I’d be warm enough.

Then I stopped.

I wouldn’t have done that back then.

Or I couldn’t have.

It never really helped anyway. It just gave me one more thing to think about. One more way to do it “right.”

So I went out.

The wind hit my arms. I noticed it.

It wasn’t cold. It was just there.

Plants leaned with it and stayed there.

Early on, a Foghat song came on.

I hadn’t heard them in years.

I used to say they were my band. I don’t know why. Other people knew it too.

I smiled.

For a moment, it felt closer to something I used to know.

Most of the time, the music stayed in the background.

My eyes stayed forward.

I noticed a magpie sitting on a thin, brittle stalk. It looked like it should bend or snap under the weight, but it didn’t.

Further along, I saw something I hadn’t noticed before on this path.

Small flowers growing directly out of it.

A tiny white one.

A few pink ones clustered together.

Then a single yellow one pushing up through the ground.

It didn’t look like anything should grow there.

Then “Head Games” came on.

That felt… placed.

I saw the fences again.

This time I did push ups. Dips. More than before. It felt more structured with the music playing.

Not planned. Just… counted.

On the downhill, I jogged.

At first it felt heavier. More awkward.

Phone in one hand. Keys in the other.

Then something shifted.

I picked up speed.

It felt closer to how I used to run. Like I was trying to get somewhere.

Then my hamstring tightened.

I stopped.

I didn’t push through it.

That part didn’t come back.

The rest of the walk was quieter.

I noticed I was looking up more. Through my bangs.

There was a feeling of being slightly hidden.

I passed the same boulders.

I didn’t climb them this time.

I did a few push ups on them instead.

That felt like enough.