Open
Unforced Movement
Moving without trying to improve anything.
I got up today and decided to walk before breakfast.
I realized I had not done that before.
Then, as usual, I catastrophized the idea.
“Will I have enough sustenance to make it?”
Then I thought, of course I will.
I skipped that last cup of coffee and put on sunglasses that adjust to the light.
I figured that would help somehow.
I headed up the hill and saw it.
The first trail head is open.
A few cars in the parking lot, just like before the disturbance.
I was excited or anxious. I could not tell.
I started moving at a fast pace. I didn’t like the feeling.
So I slowed down and dropped my shoulders. That helped.
At the crosswalk, there were no cars, so I crossed without pushing the button.
The old graffiti-covered utility box was gone, replaced with large gas pipes coming out of the ground, with a small solar panel on top.
The parking lot looked more even. The trail was exactly the same, but felt different.
People going my direction were younger, all of them running. I didn’t know how to feel about that, but I was glad to be on the trail, going that way.
One of the runners who passed me earlier was now walking. For a moment, it felt like company.
Then I thought maybe I should run. So I did.
It felt loose, maybe because it was downhill. I ran to the bottom, to the second trail head.
The runners got into their cars while I kept walking. I felt good about that.
At the crosswalk, there were no cars in one direction, so I crossed halfway. The other direction was full.
I decided not to push the button and just wait.
A truck in the first lane stopped for me. No light. Just me.
The other lanes kept moving, so I waved for the truck to keep going, and thank you at the same time.
Then the second lane stopped. Then the third.
The driver waved me across, so I went.
All lanes stopped, not because they had to.
I felt grateful. Felt seen.
I waved to them and jogged across so they could go.
I went home, had breakfast, and that last cup of coffee.
