Neutral

Unforced Movement
Moving without trying to improve anything.

We have had a lot of emotions running through our household for a few weeks. Walks have primarily been to walk the dogs and been minimal.

Today, I decided to take the first trail head to second trail head walk. I wasn’t sure what emotions might show up.

The first thing I noticed was a man sitting off the trail with about six full white trash bags around him like some sort of wall.

My first instinct was to think,
“You can’t be doing that.”

But that faded quickly, and I thought I would stay close enough on the trail that if he needed help, he could give some kind of signal.

He saw me and didn’t.

I immediately felt neutral.

All emotions about that seemed neutralized.

I continued on.

I noticed how humid it was. I have never been much of a fan of humidity. But today, that too felt neutralized.

I shook out my arms a bit and rolled up my sleeves. That seemed better.

It was very busy on the trail. A lot of bikes and walkers and joggers. But no one seemed to mind and everyone somehow made it work without conflict.

Again, it all felt neutral. Flowed well.

Then I saw a very large yellow butterfly flying in the canyon area between the trails.

I remembered how we used to say that maybe my Dad, the pilot, had come back to this world as a butterfly. He liked them.

But he really loved to fly.

This one seemed very free and was doing tricks in the air.

Yeah, could be Dad.

I said,
“Well done Dad,”
just in case.

I was going to jog downhill toward the next trail head, but instead chose a loose limbed walk.

That also felt neutral. Not hard or easy. Not good or bad. Just loose.

On the way back, the Eagles were playing in my headphones.

They sang,
“Take it to the limit...”

I didn’t.

That was okay too.

On the way back, I saw the same man still sitting among his wall of white trash bags.

The walk seemed to neutralize all the big emotions for the entirety of it.

As I approached home, I could feel emotions, all good ones, beginning to surface again.

I was grateful for the missing of them for a bit, though.